can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize