after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
