he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
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