look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
