Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
