Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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