Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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