she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
