hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?