no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
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stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
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my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.