theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
and you fell through a lawn chair