Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
