the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
