you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
