I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I understand Curling. That high.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
