Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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