they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
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