my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
