Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
