take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
