i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
