woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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