but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
