i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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