My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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