My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
