Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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