last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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