I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
