why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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