someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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