so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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