Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
