You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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