my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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