A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
