hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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