I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
