I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
