she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
