I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
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i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
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those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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