Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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