The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
it's like iHOP with fire
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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