you turned your livingroom into a bong?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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