Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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