even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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