We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
