the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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