My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize