Even water is tasting like jack daniels
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
