I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
