Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
