...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
