I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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