your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
