Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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