Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
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i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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