dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
