i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
