that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
