The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
