so explain again why im purple
no
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
