Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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