Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The power of my boobs compel you
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?