I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
